So, another semester until I graduate. It's my own fault I didn't pass the MA exam. I took on teaching a Film Class at the University because my vanity screamed, "Yes, Professor! Of course I'll teach the class because you think I'm so brilliant and worthy - with high quality lecture skills and vast amounts of film knowledge!"
Then of course, there is the stupidity of my own making where I misread the required list of works to read and study. I thought I already knew over half of them. All summer, I kept saying (not only to myself, but out loud to others), "I really should be studying and reading for my MA exam..."
There is no silver lining yet but there is a silver line. My independent study professor has agreed to continue helping me write my novel next semester. Thank God! I got stuck - or rather, the freaking people in my head got stuck. Oh, they've been busy - don't get me wrong...they're always busy. They were actively trying to escape while I was studying and cramming and STRESSING during the MA exam prep time but NOW?
Now that it is time for them to get out and get on the page, they've started to argue with me. They don't want to do this...they don't want to do that....the water's too cold...the dog wouldn't do that....a snitch wouldn't break so easily....and on and on. They cooperate to some degree, they love me if they're supposed to love me, they creep me out if they're murderers, but their ACTIONS are ........... stalled, on the side of the road with a white flag sticking out of the window.
Then, this other chick came along and had the nerve to create a whole other story line in my head. Not only did she do that but her story line involves TWO separate story lines! Kind of a "Sliding Doors" deal but not really that easy. She doesn't know where she's going either....her name's Shelley...brunette, drives a convertible - which I kind of think is a flaw in her character. It's a grossly vain thing but one of the story lines gets rid of it.
Anyway, the screenplay was no easier to write because the characters took over and barely let me speak at all. See, they were only dialogue. So they got to do, say and take the story where ever they wanted! I couldn't control them at all sometimes, couldn't reel them in. At least with the novel, I can hold them in, suck 'em back, cross my legs and negate their birth...I just can't always make them do what I want them to do...UGH! KIDS! Right?
Friday, December 12, 2008
Monday, December 1, 2008
This New Thing - A VERY old Blog
This is pretty cool. Being able to just write stuff and send it out there. The main thing that I have been going through lately is written below. It's been a hard road since I lost my boy, Spanky. I'll come up with something new next time. For now, I'm still so sad that this is all I'm concentrating on. WDW
Subject: Spanky Doodles
I wanted to let you all know that I am back online from my recent move. While I am happy to be in my new home, the joy has been dimmed due to the departure of my beloved, Spanky. My cat of nearly 15 years has left us to go to a place where there is no pain, no kidney failure, no ulcers, no organs shutting down and no more wasting away. He was very brave as he stared into my eyes when he left to go into the Light. We had been preparing for this for a while now and over the past few days when I knew he was feeling as bad as he ever has, I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do. If he wanted me to alleviate his pain with eternal slumber, I promised I would. If he wanted a bag of doughnuts, I told him I'd get them. Unfortunately, he had stopped eating for the last few days of his life. Spanky had been losing weight over the past few months and those of you who knew him at his full and gloriously muscular 25 pounds would have been very sad to see him at his final 12 pounds. His robust, baritone voice had turned into an old man's craggy complaint. His naps got longer and his waking time was shorter. He began to instigate fewer and fewer of our "stare down" games with his enormous yellow eyes. He would never lose by blinking first and would only lose if he looked away first. Normally though, it was rare that I would win a game of "stare down" with my boy. He was just too good at it.
Dr. Bissell from the Charlotte Cat Clinic said that she could "fix him up" and send him home with me after teaching me to inject him and give him IV fluids. She said that he would not nor ever be the same cat that I had known and that it would have been merely post-poning the inevitable in order to help myself adjust to his dying. I told her that I loved him way too much to let that be the way he lived his final days. I would rather say goodbye to him than see him in the pain I knew he must have been feeling. Once she gave the first injection that made him sleepy it was 5 to 7 minutes until the final injection that would quiet him forever. During the last few moments we had, I held him, sang his song and Pasha's song to him, and rubbed his belly as he always had loved. He held his gaze in my eyes throughout the entire experience. Instead of me telling him it was OK for him to go, I believe he was telling me it was OK for me to let him go. Even after he had passed, his eyes were still staring directly into mine. He won our very last game of stare down and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
God Bless Spanky Doodles
February 14, 1990 - September 20, 2004
Subject: Spanky Doodles
I wanted to let you all know that I am back online from my recent move. While I am happy to be in my new home, the joy has been dimmed due to the departure of my beloved, Spanky. My cat of nearly 15 years has left us to go to a place where there is no pain, no kidney failure, no ulcers, no organs shutting down and no more wasting away. He was very brave as he stared into my eyes when he left to go into the Light. We had been preparing for this for a while now and over the past few days when I knew he was feeling as bad as he ever has, I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do. If he wanted me to alleviate his pain with eternal slumber, I promised I would. If he wanted a bag of doughnuts, I told him I'd get them. Unfortunately, he had stopped eating for the last few days of his life. Spanky had been losing weight over the past few months and those of you who knew him at his full and gloriously muscular 25 pounds would have been very sad to see him at his final 12 pounds. His robust, baritone voice had turned into an old man's craggy complaint. His naps got longer and his waking time was shorter. He began to instigate fewer and fewer of our "stare down" games with his enormous yellow eyes. He would never lose by blinking first and would only lose if he looked away first. Normally though, it was rare that I would win a game of "stare down" with my boy. He was just too good at it.
Dr. Bissell from the Charlotte Cat Clinic said that she could "fix him up" and send him home with me after teaching me to inject him and give him IV fluids. She said that he would not nor ever be the same cat that I had known and that it would have been merely post-poning the inevitable in order to help myself adjust to his dying. I told her that I loved him way too much to let that be the way he lived his final days. I would rather say goodbye to him than see him in the pain I knew he must have been feeling. Once she gave the first injection that made him sleepy it was 5 to 7 minutes until the final injection that would quiet him forever. During the last few moments we had, I held him, sang his song and Pasha's song to him, and rubbed his belly as he always had loved. He held his gaze in my eyes throughout the entire experience. Instead of me telling him it was OK for him to go, I believe he was telling me it was OK for me to let him go. Even after he had passed, his eyes were still staring directly into mine. He won our very last game of stare down and I wouldn't have had it any other way.
God Bless Spanky Doodles
February 14, 1990 - September 20, 2004
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Edwin Van der Sar's Beautiful, Sticky Hands!
This post is from an older blog that I transfer to this new site. It's in praise of our amazing keeper, Edwin Van der Sar.
Aston Villa vs. Manchester United - November 22, 2008
How about that lovely save and keep that our AMAZING Edwin performed during this particular game? With ONE hand on the ball, right at line, his hand stayed on the ball, Milner's foot kicked it, Van der Sar's hand KEPT the ball, then his other hand came around, both hands picked up the ball and Edwin stood up.Incredible! It was a beautiful move. The commentators (the ones I suffered through here in the South East USA) were saying how Van der Sar's gloves must have glue on them....but nope, we all know it's just his fantastic talent shining through.A one-handed ball retention, against Milner's kick! THAT deserves some recognition!(Manchester United is the best team on the planet and they will prove it again this year! - I agree they are having a rough start but you just wait and see - they'll pull it out and take the cup! FIFA can blow Sir Fergie's arse!)
Obviously, we know that now -- the World Cup has been taken by our lads!
Aston Villa vs. Manchester United - November 22, 2008
How about that lovely save and keep that our AMAZING Edwin performed during this particular game? With ONE hand on the ball, right at line, his hand stayed on the ball, Milner's foot kicked it, Van der Sar's hand KEPT the ball, then his other hand came around, both hands picked up the ball and Edwin stood up.Incredible! It was a beautiful move. The commentators (the ones I suffered through here in the South East USA) were saying how Van der Sar's gloves must have glue on them....but nope, we all know it's just his fantastic talent shining through.A one-handed ball retention, against Milner's kick! THAT deserves some recognition!(Manchester United is the best team on the planet and they will prove it again this year! - I agree they are having a rough start but you just wait and see - they'll pull it out and take the cup! FIFA can blow Sir Fergie's arse!)
Obviously, we know that now -- the World Cup has been taken by our lads!
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