This New Thing - A VERY old Blog

This is pretty cool. Being able to just write stuff and send it out there. The main thing that I have been going through lately is written below. It's been a hard road since I lost my boy, Spanky. I'll come up with something new next time. For now, I'm still so sad that this is all I'm concentrating on. WDW

Subject: Spanky Doodles
I wanted to let you all know that I am back online from my recent move. While I am happy to be in my new home, the joy has been dimmed due to the departure of my beloved, Spanky. My cat of nearly 15 years has left us to go to a place where there is no pain, no kidney failure, no ulcers, no organs shutting down and no more wasting away. He was very brave as he stared into my eyes when he left to go into the Light. We had been preparing for this for a while now and over the past few days when I knew he was feeling as bad as he ever has, I told him I would do whatever he wanted me to do. If he wanted me to alleviate his pain with eternal slumber, I promised I would. If he wanted a bag of doughnuts, I told him I'd get them. Unfortunately, he had stopped eating for the last few days of his life. Spanky had been losing weight over the past few months and those of you who knew him at his full and gloriously muscular 25 pounds would have been very sad to see him at his final 12 pounds. His robust, baritone voice had turned into an old man's craggy complaint. His naps got longer and his waking time was shorter. He began to instigate fewer and fewer of our "stare down" games with his enormous yellow eyes. He would never lose by blinking first and would only lose if he looked away first. Normally though, it was rare that I would win a game of "stare down" with my boy. He was just too good at it.
Dr. Bissell from the Charlotte Cat Clinic said that she could "fix him up" and send him home with me after teaching me to inject him and give him IV fluids. She said that he would not nor ever be the same cat that I had known and that it would have been merely post-poning the inevitable in order to help myself adjust to his dying. I told her that I loved him way too much to let that be the way he lived his final days. I would rather say goodbye to him than see him in the pain I knew he must have been feeling. Once she gave the first injection that made him sleepy it was 5 to 7 minutes until the final injection that would quiet him forever. During the last few moments we had, I held him, sang his song and Pasha's song to him, and rubbed his belly as he always had loved. He held his gaze in my eyes throughout the entire experience. Instead of me telling him it was OK for him to go, I believe he was telling me it was OK for me to let him go. Even after he had passed, his eyes were still staring directly into mine. He won our very last game of stare down and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

God Bless Spanky Doodles
February 14, 1990 - September 20, 2004