Social Media Works for Hearing Impaired

Going Deaf
Losing Your Senses – NOT a Picnic!

Social media is perfect for someone like me. It's online, I write you – you write me, I can blog, podcast, or video. Don't get me wrong…I love socializing and meeting people in person, and at the Charlotte Twestival last night, I had a blast! If it weren't for the fact that I'm Hearing Impaired, I'm sure I would have enjoyed it even more!



You're probably familiar with the cotton-filled feeling your ears have when you've got a head cold. Sound is muffled, as if it is coming through water, or through the wall of another room. Everyone expects you to hear what they say and comprehend it the first time around…when you don't, they get impatient because you're making them repeat. Music doesn't sound the same…the quality is flatter, something's missing…your own voice betrays you…say a few words, and stop yourself, "do I really sound that way? What's wrong with me? I must be sick." That's the flu. For me, that's life.

My world is growing quieter but my head grows louder. I am going deaf but I have tinnitus. I never have silence. There is no such thing as relaxing, soothing, calm in Wendy-land. There is no, enjoyable conversation that is caught the first time around, where no one ever has to repeat themselves. There is never a day, when someone – a stranger, a friend, a loved one, doesn't become impatient with me because they've had to repeat something twice, three times…'look at me, I need to read your lips,' – they say it again. When I don't get it the third or fourth time they often give up, "oh never mind, it wasn't that big of a deal…the joke's over." So I get left out – frequently. Or, I'm too embarrassed to ask someone to repeat themselves more than once or twice, and I'll pretend I heard them. Smile and nod…I take the cue and laugh when everyone else does (must have been the punch line), then ask Nathan later what I missed. Wendy-land gets lonely and it's an embarrassing place to live. It's the house on the block with the poor kid, who never wants to invite friends over.

Yeah, I know, "woe is me!" Well, there's only so much, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, that I can do. I've had surgery in both ears. Surgeons replaced the bones with metal implants and rebuilt new ear drums. Both surgeries were spaced apart by about ten years, and that's about how much time they'll "buy" me until I go nearly deaf. As long as I have any measure of hearing, aids can amplify sound and I do have one hearing aid. I need two but they're expensive and insurance doesn't cover them. I suppose all six senses are a luxury. Each surgery corrected the vertigo I had at the time. But that grows as the hearing goes. Another embarrassment. I might as well be an alcoholic, for the way I get so dizzy and unbalanced much of the time. If Nathan's around, or I'm standing near something, I can usually inconspicuously lean, or reach out to steady myself. Fortunately, Nathan's used to it. He'll suddenly feel my hand tighten around his waist or his arm,he'll know I'm having a dizzy spell, and that it'll pass. No need to call attention to it.

So, at last night's Twestival in Charlotte, as usual, it was a struggle to participate in conversation, as it always is in a loud venue. (Especially when my Love was on the microphone. We're both radio/TV people, so I get it;~) Inevitably, I will end up asking, "what?" so many times that I get embarrassed, I'll fiddle with the volume on my hearing aid, twist my neck around to try each ear…then, as usual, I'll take a cue from the facial expression of the person speaking to me, or the group I'm in and smile and nod – or, pensively, "hmm, interesting…" I've got to read lips in situations when I can't hear. While I love going out and socializing, social media is perfect for me. I'm reading words, which is even more definitive than lips, it's online, I write you – you write me, I can blog, podcast, or video…I blast the volume, whatever. It's just that going deaf and socializing in public is no picnic. I'm sitting outside watching everyone else eat and laugh…Nathan will hand me a doggie bag later.

My left ear is almost completely deaf, so it has the hearing aid. My right ear has about 60% hearing left in it. I can hear in a relatively quiet room without my hearing aid, especially certain tones and voices. Usually, I can derive from the conversation we're having, what is being said even if I'm not catching every word. Sometimes, I'll get it wrong and it's comical. Eating dinner in front of the telly, Nathan will get up, and take our plates toward the kitchen, I'll hear his voice, and reply, "no thanks, I want to save some room for dessert." He'll stop, turn look at me quizzically, and that's when I know I've done it again. I'll lift an eyebrow silently inquiring, "what did you really ask me?" He'll bemusedly say, "I asked if you if wanted to start the movie yet." Oh, I was turning down a second helping of dinner. You hear that? Going deaf really isn't a picnic!